Thailand is a Mecca of sorts for those who are looking for love—or just for some steamy encounters with some of the world’s sexiest women—and for thousands of foreigners every year (called “farang” by the locals), it does not disappoint.
Most of the men who search through the throngs of petite, smiling Thai women for a wife or a girlfriend find what they’re looking for, though there is always a percentage that will find exactly what they’re not looking for without realizing it at first.
No, we’re not talking about surprise encounters with ladyboys here; many Western men who dive into the world of dating foreign women, especially Thai women, allow their idealism to blind them to the point where they fall for the most transparent Thai girlfriend scams.
The fact of the matter is, just like any other part of the world, especially parts of the world that are still in the process of industrializing, some of these potential “girlfriends” are looking to take you for all you’ve got.
Some of them are scamming several men at the same time, receiving funds every month from their various “boyfriends” under the pretense that this money will keep them from having to work in a brothel or bar where they would be compelled to have encounters with strangers.
Honestly, does it sound like she’s your girlfriend if you have to pay for her to stay true to you? Sure, some men do end up marrying bar girls, but do you really think that a girl who has been working as a prostitute for half her life is your best bet for a healthy relationship, especially if you have to pay her not to have sex with other men? Especially when you consider the fact that many of these women will secretly continue to work in bars anyway?
So how do you go about avoiding Thai women scams that will take advantage of your foreign money so that you can put your energy instead into one of the multitude of perfectly honest, high-quality Thai women? Take a look at these tips and stay ahead of the game:
1) Don’t be desperate
Sometimes perfectly reasonable men will do some stupid things when it comes to love. You may have even witnessed this yourself: Some guys torture themselves by chasing around women who aren’t interested, or by staying with abusive girlfriends, only because their minds are clouded by their attachments.
Well, this isn’t really love—this is desperation. It is this desperation that is the root of why these sorts of scams perpetrated by Thai girls work in the first place. Desperation makes idiots out of us all; it makes us misjudge our true worth and causes us to make stupid decisions based on our feelings of loss in the moment.
Remember that there are many women out there in the world, and that no one single person is the end-all, be-all. There is no reason to feel desperate because in fact, chances are, you have a multitude of options, especially if you’re a foreign man looking for a wife or girlfriend in Thailand. Do not settle for less than what you’re worth!
2) If you have to pay her, she’s not your girlfriend
This might seem like second nature, but you’d be surprised the kind of subtle manipulations and creative excuses these girls can come up with to get their money.
You’re on a date and suddenly she mentions that her little brother needs some medicine but that her family doesn’t have enough money for it. Would you mind spotting her some? It really isn’t much. Maybe she’ll email you about how she’s about to start school, but she doesn’t have the money to buy a motorbike to get there every day.
All of these appear to be reasonable requests on the surface, but as they grow more elaborate and more expensive, you may not even notice what’s happening, especially if you have money to burn.
There’s also those common Thai bar girls who like to collect men to maintain them. Basically, you would be paying her not to work (and thus prostitute herself to other men). As an outsider to this situation, does this sound reasonable to you? There is no reason you should have to pay a maintenance fee to keep a girlfriend. That’s basically prostitution, except without even the promise of sex. If you wish to have an ongoing relationship with a prostitute, that’s fine, but see it for what it is and don’t delude yourself in that you are anything more than a client.
Now, doing the occasional favor for your Thai girlfriend, buying her the occasional gift and paying for your meals together is not unexpected or out of the ordinary, especially if you make much more than she does. This is where the differences lie: A quality girlfriend will try not to burden you with her problems and will attempt to live a self-sufficient life like any other reasonable person.
At the very least, her sexual conduct concerning others will not be based on the condition of your ability to pay up! She will actually be interested in impressing you and will see you as more than a walking wallet.
3) Don’t look for girlfriends in all the wrong places
Searching for a long-term girlfriend? Want a woman that could possible become your wife? What the heck are you doing searching for her in a hostess bar, then? Yes, these professional girls can be attractive and alluring, and part of their charm is how forward they are and how much they fight to get your attention—but they are only that way because they are paid to be that way!
Plenty of men have fallen for the fantasy that a cute bar girl has genuinely developed feelings for them and only them, but more often than not, these women are simply master manipulators. They exploit men for a living, so they have trained themselves to see little more than dollar signs when they see you; do not fall for their illusion.
Whether you are meeting girls online using a convenient dating site, or you’ve bit the bullet and are touring Thailand in person, be extremely wary of the girls who admit to working as “entertainment” in bars or clubs. You are better off concentrating your efforts elsewhere.
There are many aspects to these kinds of romance scams, as they can be very complex. However, if you keep these three general tips in mind, it will help you avoid most of the troublesome ladies. More importantly, remember to go with your gut: If something seems strange about her, or she seems like she’s hiding something or making unreasonable requests too early in the relationship, steer clear.
If you’re looking to meet some verified Thai girls who are honestly looking to start a real, long-lasting relationship, check out iDateAsia.com.